i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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