Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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