What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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