I accidentally had phone sex last night
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
