He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
