I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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