I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
