Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
i think my cat just said my name.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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