So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
