apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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