His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
