dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
