Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
