I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize