He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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