I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
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