theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
