Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
