If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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