haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
