so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize