hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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