literally had 100 drinks last night.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
