the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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