You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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