Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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