I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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