Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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