She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
