Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
