it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
