Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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