The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
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The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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