I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
bring money and cleavage
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
