The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
