We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
