GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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