you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just googled if crying burns calories
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
