Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
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I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
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The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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