STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
