I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
