my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
