it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
