I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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