I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
