It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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