brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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