I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
