I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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