my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize