everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
