that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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