Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
