I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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