is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
