I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
