sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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