dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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