I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
