you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She announced her abortion via fbk
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
