I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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