Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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