You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
