Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
A+ Viking dick
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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