Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
