I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Randomize
