I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
