i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
