if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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